My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
