I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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