Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You have to summon your inner elephant
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
