goodnight i made you a song goodbye
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
