Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
