Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
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