Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
