That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
