Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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