goodnight i made you a song goodbye
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
