If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
