Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
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am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
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It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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