dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
This baby is an asshole
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize