guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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