Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
