i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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