This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
it's like heaven, but drunker
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
