dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
