my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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