Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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