No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
