i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
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