Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
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He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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