Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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