Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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