I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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