I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
