Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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