I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
