My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize