I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i think i have two assholes
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
