what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
