This girl is more easily done than said...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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