Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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