He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
