I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
