i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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