All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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