Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
