I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize