i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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