So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
