I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
do nipples grow back?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
