That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
