Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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