I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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