no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
