If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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