Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
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the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
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I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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