Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
