'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
