I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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