i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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