I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize