Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
