It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
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