How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
