I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
