When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
