sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
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i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
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I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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