Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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