Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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