I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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